Placing the Hogwart's Sorting Hat on the New York Mets

by Tim Fitzpatrick January 08, 2018 0 Comments

In perhaps the biggest piece of news for the Mets this offseason (scary, right?), Noah Syndergaard sent a tweet that made Mets fans gasp for a multitude of reasons.

He who shall not be named.....in catch play. #houseslytherin #Nagini #ssssssliders pic.twitter.com/vK2t9idg6D
— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) January 7, 2018

The first, of course, is that Thor is holding a snake that could crush his ribcage in a matter of seconds. The second, and arguably more noteworthy reason for any fans of Harry Potter, is the #HouseSlytherin included in the tweet.

For those not familiar with the Harry Potter series, members of House Slytherin are known for their ambition, as well as their “by any means necessary” attitude, and anyone who has seen videos of Thor’s offseason workout program knows that he is a perfect fit for them. Despite the house having produced some of Hogwarts’ most notorious wizards, such as father-and-son sleazes Lucious and Draco Malfoy, not to mention the series’ big bad, Tom Riddle (aka Lord Voldemort), Slytherin is not synonymous with “evil.” So Mets fans should not automatically assume that Syndergaard would do something as dastardly as, for example, throwing high and tight to a first-pitch fastball hitter in the World Series...

Now that we know which Met player is a member of House Slytherin, it begs the question of who belongs in the other three Hogwarts houses: Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor. Let’s place the Sorting Hat on some of our favorite Mets and see where they will be spending their tenure at Hogwarts.

House Hufflepuff
Attributes: Loyalty, Patience, Hard work
Member: Wilmer Flores

Wilmer is as clear-cut of a Hufflepuff as there is on the Mets roster. Having signed with the team at the age of 16, he has been a member of the Mets organization for his entire professional career.

His loyalty to the only club that he has ever known is obvious. Despite multiple position changes during his short career, and his trade-gone-wrong back in July of 2015, Flores never appears dissatisfied with his role on the team. Wilmer’s walk-up song, the theme song to the TV show Friends, also shows his light-heartedness, another Hufflepuff trait.

House Ravenclaw
Attributes: Wit, Intelligence, Knowledge
Member: Jerry Blevins

A quick perusal of Blevin’s Twitter account will quickly prove his inclusion in Ravenclaw. His intelligence is shown here, where he chooses the clearly superior Wham!’s “Last Christmas,” over Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas.”

I know everyone loves ‘All I Want for Christmas’ but I’ll take ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham! every time. pic.twitter.com/Qb5uSHfBKc
— Jerry Blevins (@jerryblevins) December 15, 2017

His wit was also on display during his clap-back at our own Brian Erni back in November. When Erni took the controversial stance of “Actually, Michael Jackson is bad,” Blevins was quick to let Brian know that it was Erni and his taste in music that was, in fact, bad.

Then I would say that your musical taste is sort of the worst.
— Jerry Blevins (@jerryblevins) November 9, 2017

The Twitter back-and-forth between Blevins and Syndergaard about everything from cereal to baseball movies also solidifies his inclusion in Ravenclaw.

House Gryffindor
Attributes: Bravery, Daring, Chivalry
Member: David Wright

Who else is a more fitting member of Gryffindor than the Mets’ Captain, David Wright? Wright is the embodiment of this house: always doing and saying the right thing, leading by example, and never stepping down from a challenge. Even as he attempts to battle back from a slew of injuries that sidelined him for the entire 2017 season, Wright continues to show his bravery in the face of a possibly career-ending diagnosis. No Met comes close to deserving a spot in the House of Gryffindor more than our own version of “The Boy Who Lived.”