Four Possible Haircut Styles for Noah Syndergaard

Four Possible Haircut Styles for Noah Syndergaard

by Tim Fitzpatrick October 08, 2017 0 Comments

Earlier this week, Jacob DeGrom stunned Mets fans when he lopped off a great deal of his trademark mane.

Plenty of fans welcomed the change, finding DeGrom’s new ‘do very becoming. Resident handsomeness expert, my mom, had this to say about the change:

So now that Jacob has taken the leap, should Mets fans be prepared for more Earth-shattering grooming news? Like a woman who just rid herself of a bad relationship, what if Noah Syndergaard wants to cleanse himself of the stink of the 2017 season and go for a new look? Should Thor decide to follow Jake's lead, here are a couple of ideas:


The Ricky Vaughn

The similarities are apparent: fan favorite flame-thrower, connection to a piece of pop culture created in the 1960’s. Major League’s anti-hero Ricky Vaughn helped lead his team to a playoff berth in spite of a roster filled with aging vets, unproven youngsters, and financially-strapped ownership. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Does Thor see himself as a modern day Wild Thing? A move to this signature hair style could indicate to the Mets he plans to make everything groovy next season.


The College Sophomore Who Discovered Weed and Phish During Summer Break

Is Noah going to channel his inner-Ras Trent and rock the dreadlocks? He already has the length for it, and the locks flowing behind his back might serve as a useful deception tactic on the mound. It isn’t too difficult to picture Thor showing up to Spring Training with an orange-and-blue Tam hat, Birkenstocks, and a Peter Tosh t-shirt. After all, everyone loved it when John Jaso did it, right?


The Guile From Street Fighter II

Pros:

  • “High and Tight” now works on multiple levels.

  • Instant respect from your dad, who wanted him to, "Cut that damn hippie hair off."

  • Noah can still cosplay a character at comic book conventions.

  • Easier for Noah to stand on his head.

  • If it worked for Howie Long, it can work for Thor.

Cons:

  • Probably difficult to put a baseball cap on.

  • Vanilla Ice jokes will get old very quickly.

  • The one weekend a month, two weeks a year Noah will be away from the team for National Guard duty.


The Teenager With Emotions



After an offseason of listening to Dashboard Confessional and 7 Seconds of Summer, Mets fans can expect a new, mopier Thor on the mound in 2018. Shuffling towards the mound with his head down, foregoing his warmup pitches because, “What’s the point?”  Maybe letting out a long, angsty sigh before rolling his eyes and delivering a pitch. Noah would become an idol to all hulking, 6’6” emo kids who wish to make it to The Show someday: a huge demographic, as we all know. The eyeliner may be hard to apply with the hectic schedule of a Major Leaguer, but this may be the perfect new visage Thor is looking for.




Tim Fitzpatrick
Tim Fitzpatrick

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