Earlier this week, Jacob DeGrom stunned Mets fans when he lopped off a great deal of his trademark mane.
Plenty of fans welcomed the change, finding DeGrom’s new ‘do very becoming. Resident handsomeness expert, my mom, had this to say about the change:
So now that Jacob has taken the leap, should Mets fans be prepared for more Earth-shattering grooming news? Like a woman who just rid herself of a bad relationship, what if Noah Syndergaard wants to cleanse himself of the stink of the 2017 season and go for a new look? Should Thor decide to follow Jake's lead, here are a couple of ideas:
The similarities are apparent: fan favorite flame-thrower, connection to a piece of pop culture created in the 1960’s. Major League’s anti-hero Ricky Vaughn helped lead his team to a playoff berth in spite of a roster filled with aging vets, unproven youngsters, and financially-strapped ownership. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Does Thor see himself as a modern day Wild Thing? A move to this signature hair style could indicate to the Mets he plans to make everything groovy next season.
Is Noah going to channel his inner-Ras Trent and rock the dreadlocks? He already has the length for it, and the locks flowing behind his back might serve as a useful deception tactic on the mound. It isn’t too difficult to picture Thor showing up to Spring Training with an orange-and-blue Tam hat, Birkenstocks, and a Peter Tosh t-shirt. After all, everyone loved it when John Jaso did it, right?
Pros:
“High and Tight” now works on multiple levels.
Instant respect from your dad, who wanted him to, "Cut that damn hippie hair off."
Noah can still cosplay a character at comic book conventions.
Easier for Noah to stand on his head.
If it worked for Howie Long, it can work for Thor.
Cons:
Probably difficult to put a baseball cap on.
Vanilla Ice jokes will get old very quickly.
The one weekend a month, two weeks a year Noah will be away from the team for National Guard duty.
After an offseason of listening to Dashboard Confessional and 7 Seconds of Summer, Mets fans can expect a new, mopier Thor on the mound in 2018. Shuffling towards the mound with his head down, foregoing his warmup pitches because, “What’s the point?” Maybe letting out a long, angsty sigh before rolling his eyes and delivering a pitch. Noah would become an idol to all hulking, 6’6” emo kids who wish to make it to The Show someday: a huge demographic, as we all know. The eyeliner may be hard to apply with the hectic schedule of a Major Leaguer, but this may be the perfect new visage Thor is looking for.
Tim Fitzpatrick
Author
T7L contributing blogger - Follow Tim on Twitter