Slow Trot It Up Rhys, But Get Ready For Your Medicine

by Darren Meenan April 25, 2019 0 Comments

A few things are certain. The Mets vs. Phillies rivalry is officially back, Rhys Hoskins has appointed himself public enemy No. 1, and it's all gravy for those on both sides of the fence.

I was more fired up than normal for last night's game. After tossing back a couple of "United We Cheers" at Mikkeller (perfect game day beer, just saying...) with the wifey, we nestled in our seats with time to spare before first pitch. If something was gonna go down, I wanted a good look at the mayhem. We were up in section 308. One of the better views in the ballpark from my opinion if you're looking for a recommendation.

Gorgeous night for a ball game. #LGM pic.twitter.com/COh2jkSvEi
— The 7 Line (@The7Line) April 24, 2019

Having Vargas on the hill while the Metsies go for a sweep wasn't exactly putting any lead in my pencil. It was the slim possibility that benches might clear in an old fashioned dust up. I want these teams to hate each other. It adds to everything I love about rivalries. The NL East should be tight all year. Sparking up a feud in April gives us a six-month storyline.

Surprising to many, Vargas pitched OK. He went 4 2/3 (yippie) and struck out Harper twice. Probably the highlight of the night. The game was overall pretty blah.

Until...

Lovely night for a stroll ...

Wouldn't you say, @rhyshoskins? pic.twitter.com/cNw8i88uey
— Philadelphia Phillies (@Phillies) April 25, 2019

Let's be honest. If a Mets player pulled this shit down at Citi Field South, aka Citizens Bank Park, we'd all love it. I have no problem with his turtle-paced trot around the bases. It's a dick move for sure, but so are bat flips, and I can't get enough of those. There's nothing wrong with rubbing your opponent's nose in a little dirt. Fire up your team, excite your fan base, and piss off the other guys. I'm down with that.

Rhys Hoskins' home run trot tonight: 34.23 seconds.

Bartolo Colon's home run trot in 2016: 30.5 seconds.
— Anthony DiComo (@AnthonyDiComo) April 25, 2019

Rhys kinda reminds me of that Benihana scene in The Wolf Of Wall Street though. BENI-FUCKING-HANA?!? No, it's not that cry baby Harper igniting the sake. It's RHYS-FUCKING-HOSKINS of all Phillies revitalizing the rivalry down I-95. Have at it, hoss. Odds are Jacob Rhame wasn't even tossing at him on Tuesday night, but if you wanna play the villain here, step right up.

rhys hoskins is one of those girls that tweets shit like “lmao stay bothered, i’m gonna keep doing me 😘” and everyone else is like...you have exactly zero haters
— jenna (@jennaashlyn) April 25, 2019

Just know that this sort of shit comes with repercussions. Gloat it up, but prepare to wear one between the shoulder blades the next time you're in the box against a Met. Rhys can either meet 60 feet 6 inches away, or slow trot his smug ass to first base. Crossing my fingers now that Thor is on the bump that day instead of Vargas. And he doesn't miss this time.

In the end, let's just hope the Mets are still battling for tops of the NL East the next time these teams tangle. Not rushing the season, but June 24th can't get here soon enough. I'll have my popcorn ready.