The All-Time Hottest Mets by Position

by Alyssa Rose October 10, 2017 0 Comments

‘Sup, T7L Army? A few of you know me because you follow me on Twitter (a very smart decision, if I do say so myself), but for those of you who don’t, I’m Alyssa Rose. Yes, Rose as in Howie.

As I’m sure you can tell from my stunningly good looks and particularly large bottom lip, I am his daughter. What does that mean in terms of the content you can expect from me?

Literally nothing.

As far as this blog is concerned, I’m a Mets fan first, Howie’s daughter second (Please don’t tell him I said that, though. I don’t want to hurt his feelings). If I’m happy, you’ll know it. If I’m frustrated, you’ll definitely know it.

The team has made some pretty big personnel moves this off-season already, all of which I’m in total support of, so right now I’m happy. You know what I’m not happy about though? The fact that I’m a 28-year-old, single female in New York City with no prospects.

That leaves me with a lot of time to fantasize about Prince Charming. And this may not come as a shock, but my Prince Charming doesn’t wear a crown, he wears a fitted orange-and-blue cap. He’s wearing a throwback jersey with pinstripes, and his profession is, you guessed it, New York Met.

Luckily for me, the Mets have a history of adding incredibly hot guys onto the roster. Everyone on our pitching staff right now is a straight up Adonis. deGrom’s hair cut? FUEGO. I don’t even want to say anything else about it at the risk of getting too excited.

Over the years, I have spent a lot of time putting together a New York Mets All-Star Team based solely on looks. Finally, I get to share it with the world. So here it is, folks: the hottest* Met in franchise history at every position. 

* I have a redhead fetish, and Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World is my number one celebrity crush, so if you disagree with this list, that makes perfect sense.

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First Base: You date Elaine Benes, you win every award you're eligible for. Thems the rules. Keith Hernandez.

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Second Base: Neil Walker. Look into those sexy, smoldering eyes and try to breathe. I dare you. 

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Shortstop: Jose Reyes. I have a complaint to make. Who is in charge of the internet? Is it you, Al Gore? Please fix the fact that all of the most attractive images of Jose are in Blue Jays jerseys. I won’t deny that he looks hot AF here, though.

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Third Base: Do I even need to say it? I think we all know. I mean, any living, breathing human being who isn’t blind knows this answer to this. El Capitán.

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Catcher: Todd Hundley. I mean. Come on.

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Right Field: There are some guys you love for their looks first, personality second. There are some guys you love for their personality, and that makes them become attractive to you. Then there are the unicorns that are flawless in both areas, or as I like to call him, Curtis Granderson.

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Center Field: Timo Perez. If his smile doesn’t make you smile, you don’t deserve to smile ever again. 

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Left Field: Michael Conforto. Am I salty because he follows my sister on Instagram and not me? You bet. But that’s how you know this list is honest.

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Starting Pitcher: Jacob deGrom. Bae. That is all.

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Middle Reliever: Addison Reed. He actually looks like every guy I’ve ever had a crush on. Like, ever.

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Closer: Roger McDowell. You know what makes a guy that hot even hotter? A World Series ring.

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Manager: Bobby Valentine. As silver foxes go, Bobby V is the foxiest. He was the second older guy I had a crush on. The first was my 1st grade gym teacher, Mr. Woska. I wonder what he’s up to these days… 

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If any of you have any of these guys’ numbers, please have them slide into my DMs at once. No reason, dad, I just want to say hi.

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